


Leah Barton and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day

by Koren M (CyberMathWitch)



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Babysitting, Crack, Gen, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-14
Updated: 2012-10-14
Packaged: 2017-11-16 06:59:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/536757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyberMathWitch/pseuds/Koren%20M
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>They weren't supposed to be this much trouble.  They were *never* this much trouble.</i>  An offer to babysit doesn't go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leah Barton and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TaleWeaver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaleWeaver/gifts).



> A fill for TaleWeaver's prompt at Be-Compromised's awesome Promptathon of Awesomeness, where she requested a look at what the Avengers' children might be like.
> 
> Yes, this is the completely improbable reality in which they all paired up and started having babies. ;) Essentially comment-boxed for the prompt-a-thon. Crack-fic.
> 
> For Rhi, Morgan, Rowan, Iree, Robert, and someday Phoebe, who are the (sometimes not so subtle) inspiration behind this, and who are responsible for just about everything I know about raising children.

Leah was about ready to pull her hair out.

They weren't supposed to be this much trouble. They were _never_ this much trouble.

Pippa _liked_ nap time, damn it (and she knew she wasn't supposed to actually say "damn it" around them but she figured inside her own brain she could think whatever she wanted to, and this called for it - _no one_ was acting like themself today, of all days.)

Pippa liked naptime, Maggie never cried, Jamie and Ben knew better than to throw things in the house... and it dawned on her that she hadn't actually seen Erik, Brynn, or Annie in the last half an hour or so.

"JARVIS, where are the other three?" she asked in what she hoped was a calm, reasonable tone.

"Mister and Miss Foster and Miss Banner are currently in the elevator between floors, Miss Barton. I believe they are headed down to Mr. Stark's lab."

"NO! I mean, JARVIS, please stop the elevator and reroute it back up here. They're not allowed down there unattended, they know better!"

Something tugged at the leg of her jeans, and she looked down at Pip's strawberry blond head. One of her braids had come undone and she was holding the broken elastic out, still sniffling from the fit she'd been throwing over her nap.

"Broke," she said sadly, in that heart-breaking way only a four-year-old could manage.

"Crap, Pip, sorry about that - here, can you wait just a minute and I'll fix it for you? Please?"

"You're not supposed to say 'crap'!" Jamie, who was six and thought he knew everything, crowed from behind the couch, even as Pippa nodded.

"And you're not supposed to break things with a baseball! No ground to stand on here, squirt!" she shot back.

"Don't call me squirt!" Jamie yelled, followed by a muffled "Yeah!" that could only be five year old Ben, Jamie's partner in crime.

She thought back to the discussion over the breakfast table where she'd volunteered for this fiasco and sort of wanted to cry, herself. 

It was extremely rare for all of the adults to leave the Tower at the same time. Rare as in Leah could count on one hand the number of times that had probably happened, at least that the kids hadn't all been taken along (because that wasn't relevant.) And ok, _technically_ Darcy was still there, but she was seven months pregnant and on bed rest.

When Pepper had looked at her schedule and realized her meeting in Malibu had been pushed up, she'd decided to make it a single-day trip and not take Pippa with her. Tony and Jane were already out there at some kind of conference on machine engineering for clean energy, and Annie was already bunking over on Steve and Darcy's floor since Bruce and Betty were presenting some kind of paper on genetic research at Culver. Thor was still in Asgard, so Brynn, Erik, and Ben had ended up on the floor Leah and her parents shared - only they had some kind of all-day thing at SHIELD HQ, which also required Steve. They hadn't really explained it, but then, they never did. 

The net result of all of that was that Darcy was the only official grown-up in the Tower, and she wasn't allowed to chase the kids around all day. But Leah was fourteen, almost fifteen, and they were good kids. The _were_ \- 95% of the time. She'd watched all of them before in different combinations since she was about twelve (granted there was always someone else on the premises, plus JARVIS, but Leah was a responsible, clear-headed girl. Mom said so all the time - it was kind of her way of saying "I love you" and "I'm proud of you." So, really, if none of them had been a problem individually or in smaller groups, why should this have been any different?

(Years later, when she recounted the story to Pepper at their weekly "you may be in college but you're still our kid" lunch, Pepper just shook her head and patted her hand with a grin. Yeah, yeah, she should've known better.)

Leah sat down on the couch next to Maggie, who was still crying into the pillows about wanting her Dad _(no honey, he's at work right now, he'll be back soon)_ , and tried to re-braid Pippa's hair. The elastic was well and truly broken, but the other one seemed fine, so she tugged it out and started to unwind the second tail so she could put it all up in one.

Which was when Pippa started screaming.

"NO! Doing it wrong!" she bellowed at the top of her not-inconsiderable lungs (she was Tony Stark's kid, after all - and apparently she hadn't taken after her name sake one bit). She jerked the bow out of Leah's hand and ran full tilt down the hall and into the playroom, where she slammed the door.

Leah rested her head in her hands.

The elevator bell chimed and the oldest three tumbled into the living area.

"Why were you guys headed down to the lab?" She tried her best to imitate her mother's "look".

Erik (who was ten) had the sense to look at least a little sheepish, hanging his head and scratching at the back of his neck. Brynn (who was 9 - yeah, Jane had had a fun two years there) just blinked at her and clasped her hands behind her back in what Leah supposed was meant to be innocence. Annie (eight) regarded her through the lenses of her glasses and tilted her head. "Erik left his notebook down there and we were going to go get it."

Erik glanced over sharply, and not for the first time Leah wondered if Annie would've sorted Slytherin. "I did-"

_thunk_ Brynn's foot darted out to catch the edge of her brother's.

"Yeah. I did. Leave my notebook, I mean. Umm."

"You guys know that all this," Leah waved a hand around the room,"is recorded to JARVIS's servers, right? You get that you just lied to me - _badly_ and I can just play this for Aunt Jane and Uncle Bruce and you'd better hope that Uncle Thor and Aunt Betty don't find out, right?"

Annie's lips narrowed and she got the same far-away look on her face that she got when she was doing math. Brynn turned even paler until she was almost the same color as her hair, and Erik just stared back.

_CRASH_

Her head whipped around and she saw what remained of the glass divider that separated the tiny computer nook from the sitting area.

"THAT'S IT!!!" she yelled, and six startled pairs of eyes (including Ben's and Jamie's that popped up from behind the couch) turned to look at her. A glance down the hall told her that Pippa had stuck her head back out of the playroom, too.

Maggie looked scared and about ready to cry again, so Leah scooped the three year old, the baby of the family for at least another month or so, up into her arms and nuzzled her without letting the determined expression fall from her face.

"You guys know better, you know how to behave. I _know_ you do. I get that you're bored, or annoyed, or you're having a bad day, but guess what? Today we all are. We have three more hours - _three_ \- until people start coming home, and I need to get that glass cleaned up before someone gets hurt. Jamie, Ben, put your baseballs back in the play room, and bring Pippa back in here. You three," she stared hard at Erik, Annie, and Brynn, "sit down on that couch," she pointed, "and do not move. I am putting in _Road to El Dorado_ , and we are going to sit here, and we are going to sing along, and enjoy the movie, and _if_ you guys are good through the first half then I will make popcorn and let you have ginger ale after the ball game scene. Do you understand me?"

Erik was the first one to nod, cautiously, and edge his way over to the couch while skirting around the broken glass. Brynn grabbed Annie's arm and pulled her along in her wake, shoving her gently into the middle seat before sitting down herself. Leah heard more than she saw Jamie and Ben go down the hall, but they were quickly back with Pippa on their heels.

She put the two younger boys in separate chairs so they'd stay quieter, watched Pip scramble up onto the couch, and tucked a droopy-eyed Maggie back down into the corner she'd originally claimed along with her bunny and blanket. While in the playroom Pippa had managed a horribly messy pony tail, but Leah decided that was something she could let Pepper deal with it when she got back.

Once the movie had started, she carefully cleaned up the broken glass, making sure to sweep twice and then stuck a note on the wall warning people to wear shoes for the next day or two when they went into the office area.

By the time the elevator buzzed again, and JARVIS's calm voice informed her that her parents and Steve were all home, Leah had a sleeping girl tucked in on either side of her and they were halfway through _Flight of Dragons_.


End file.
